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banglesaway 40, Female, Indiana, USA - 21 entries

Sep 2007
3:34 PM EDT

Blast from the past

I checked out my old best friend's site. is there something wrong, still being hurt?

It's sad...i wished through these past, what?....3-4 years should would have changed her tune. And she hasn't...she's still putting herself out there to get hurt. i wish she would grow up and stop putting herself into situations. we may not be friends, but i want nothing but the bestfor her

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jesssie 33, Female, Canada - 69 entries

Sep 2007
1:35 AM EST

it's really early in the AM. i had the hardest day yesterday.. okay so first my math teacher basically says that i should be in applied math or something and ? like i am sorry you SUCK at teaching!! maybe he should go back to school and learn how to TEACH oh my god! secondly, i lost one of my best friends.. again.. over a super dumb reason, its always the same stupid reasons its ALWAYS so stupid. but the truth is that i dont want to be friends anymore because its so stressful. i know i always end up missing her and then we become best friends again but seriously i dont think it will happen this time and quite frankly i dont want it to either. i have other people, who actually tell me the truth and treat me the way i deserve to be treated. i love her a ton and i always will just because of everything we've gone through together but i can't keep doing this..? plus in the midst of all this fighting ive made a couple new good friends, which im quite happy about.
well i have school in a little less than an hour but i have to leave in like 20 minutes cause i have to walk there.. lol. im starrrving and today i HOPE will be really good. someone special is giving me a huge hug to cheer me up so i think it will make me feel better. like yesterday i told the guy i like, oh so i dont like waiting around.. ?? and hes like oh im sorry im just not sure i guess? like ahhahaha lmfao okay :|:| you either like me back or you dont. well i guess i can relate to him since im kind of in the same situation, with him and another guy. i dont think it ever stops ever like its ongong drama and everything and yeah i guess, it might be my fault since i have brought it upon myself but maybe i dont want a break from it.. like i obviously do but CLEARLY i dont haha.
and also, the most annoying thing in the world is when someone who you thought was your best friend decides to ditch the idea in a second because she has already replaced you. you can say it allll you want, but you make everything so fucking goddamn obvious so stop lying because im not that stupid. ugh
people should just shuttup like only a couple in particular but FUCK!

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ronowen 70, Male, Texas, USA - 114 entries

Sep 2007
12:35 PM CST

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Ron had a wonderful day today. He was able to breath ALL ON HIS OWN for THREE hours................. making much progress! He told us today that he continues to keep in mind a special verse: "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me, Phil 4:13"

He also got to have a taste of some real food, whichhe hasn't experienced sinceApril..... pudding!We're still not quite strong enough to swallow,so the hamburger will have to wait a little longer.

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6 comment(s) - 07:50 PM - 09/28/2007

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Charlie 37, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 8 entries

Sep 2007
8:02 PM EDT

Its sad that late at night when I need sleep more than anything, I don't want to hang up the phone and when i fianlly do say good-bye i lay there for hours hoping that you'll still call me back. Its sad that those late night conversations are practically keeping me alive and for you there just another phone call that you have to make. Its sad that i now undertand and realize that i have to move from the passenger seat of the van clear to the back... and i don't even have a seat belt to secure my seat. Its sad that waiting has become my biggest worry,its sad that motivation has becomemy biggest loss,and its even more sad that i have become my own biggestworst enemy. Its not thewaiting that keeps me up, or the hopes of my favorite ring, or the slambing of the doors, or the voices in the air... its not even you that makes my eyes wide and mind run wild. Its me. My own thoughts of time. "Time is of the essence" they always say, and to some that may be true...hell even to me at one point in my life it was true, but now i hate time.I hate this waitingroom that i am stuck in and i wish it wasdemolished! I hate that you have none of it for me and plenty of it for, friends, (fuckin videogames to say the least,)"more important"phone calls, alcohol, driving,reading, homework, studying, working, eating, sleeping, movies,family, and belive me the list goes on. And yes i do believe that some of those things need more time spent on them than i do...and I undertand that. but you will never understand why i complain and hate time untill you try to understand me.

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1 comment(s) - 03:34 PM - 09/25/2007

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TremblingAngel 34, Female, Ohio, USA - 2 entries

Sep 2007
6:16 PM EDT

Alrighty, so I'm not quite sure what to say. *Looks Around* I guess a good way to start off is by introducing myself, aye? Well my name is Natasha. I'm bittersweet sixteen. Yes, I actually have my license. Now all that's missing is a car. And a job too! *Nods* I'm engaged to a wonderful girl named Chelsey. She's the corn on my cob. *Giggles* Haha! Yeah... I also have a strange obsession with corn. Oh! I love writing stories. That's sort of how I became obsessed with corn because I wrote a story where the main character was corn-obsessed. *Nods* It's still my favorite story. Hehe! I love singing too. I'm in Concert Choir at my highschool. I'm a Junior by the way. Haha! In Concert Choir I'm a Soprano 2. I actually wanted to be a 2nd. I pretty much requested it. Haha! Soprano 1's may be number 1. But 1 + 1 equals 2, thus making Soprano 2's better. Haha! Also, I like rebelling from the Soprano part. Hehe! Yes... that's how I put it! Haha!

I have 20 diary-ish things. Why? I want to test out some sites and then I'll pick a few that offer the most and are most inviting. If something doesn't offer much, why waste time updating on it? So if you randomly see me disappear, make sure to check my last entry, because I will post where you can still read my blog/journal/diary/what[corn]ever at. Also, I'm posting the same entry at each site. Of course, if some sites have more things to offer, I may put more stuff up. I'll post the other websites later that I'll be at. *Smiles*

Some people say I'm funny. Yes, yes, quite. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I am... or not! I am amusing however, if I do say so myself. I'm, pretty much, a drama queen. Just ignore that. Also, I love ranting, rambling, and all that fun stuff. Especially about fashion! You'll see those from time to time. Feel free to comment. Hmm... but if you leave a rude comment (or one that I just don't like) I will not let others see it. What's that called where you filter the media? I'm having a brain fart now. Is it capitalism? I remember talking about it... back in 9th grade, I believe. Haha!

Let's see... what else can I say? Oh! I speak French! *Nods* Well... I speak some French. I'm not fluent. Haha! But, I have been to Paris! This summer I went and we were in Paris about... oh... a week or 8 days, I'd guess. C'est fantastique! Oui? Haha! So randomly if I talk in French... it's okay. Ce n'est pas de probleme. Also, I know I'm lacking accent marks. Pardon me on that. I'm not going to figure out how to get it to work for each journal. I'll learn over time. Haha!

Anyway, I think that's about it for this entry. Trust me, there will be more to come. I can't promise one daily, but I do promise them. *Nods* I'll talk to ya'll later! Ciao! Ya'll come back, ya hear? Haha! Sorry... I just had to... *Giggles*

~Natasha

Other ways to possibly reach me:

Email: TremblingAngel@Yahoo.com

AIM: EvilCornLady

Yahoo: TremblingAngel

MSN: TremblingAngel@Yahoo.com [I'm not sure if this one would work...]

My Myspace: TremblingAngel (www.myspace.com/tremblingangel) [Add me, if you please! *Grins* I also update these journals {or whatever} there.]

Tags: introduction beginning hello new TremblingAngel

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2 comment(s) - 04:55 PM - 10/29/2007

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Charlie 37, Female, Pennsylvania, USA - 8 entries

Sep 2007
5:59 AM EDT

Hello everyone out there who decideds to hear about my life. This is my very frist entry and the only reason that I am really doing this is to have an out with all of these missplaced thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are always running through my mind. I am a 19 year old girl and I am a freshman at college in Ohio (its only been 5 weeks here) and to make it short and sweet... I HATE IT! Life sucks here and even when I get the opportunity to go home, life is just not the same when I go back. Therefore, I needed something that will always be consistent in my life... AKA a journal entry. I needed something/somewhere to let all all the bottled up stress and emotions that seem to be harboring and at the same time overflowing onto other ppl. and that is just not where they belong. So here it is my public journal, my personal life on a blank screen, hoping to find something that will fill the emptiness.

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ronowen 70, Male, Texas, USA - 114 entries

Sep 2007
12:58 PM CST

Monday, September 24, 2007
Ron has been having good days. Today he was able to breath ALL ON HIS OWN without any support for two hours!! That is really awesome and a huge step forward. Little by little, he is working towards a full recovery. Thanks for continuing the thoughts and prayers.

Tags: boo

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4 comment(s) - 11:33 PM - 09/28/2007

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yanpu 41, Female, California, USA - 10 entries

Sep 2007
1:08 AM EDT

Julie and I are back in Xining. We spent the last week in the city of Le Du in the Hai Dong District of Qinghai. We assisted in the filming of a short documentary film about this year's Qinghai vaccination and education program. They wanted the film to be filled with personal stories from kids and their families to the teachers and doctors who are conducting the vaccinations.

Our first task was to find a school with kids that were being vaccinated. Julie and I contacted the local health department and found a school in the more developed area of the city. However, Aaron and Adam did not like the school. They wanted something more rural, which they thought would make the film more interesting. So off we went into the mountains and countryside to find this rural school.

Luckily we found one approximately 30mins from the city of Le Du. The school is set in a valley surrounded by mountains. To get there we had to drive on a narrow road with no road barriers. On one side is the mountain and on the other side steep cliffs. Let's just say it wasn't the most enjoyable ride back and forth every morning and every night to and from this rural school. The school however was indeed perfect for the film. It really captured the environment of rural china. It's pretty run down, with just 5 classrooms housing 40 students ages 6-12. There is a small playground with some monkey bars and a single basketball hoop. The kids were all very adorable. They lived in the farm villages near the school. Most of them were very shy and some were even a bit scared. For most of them this was the first time they'd ever seen a white person.

After the first day of getting acquainted with the school and some of the kids, Aaron and Adam were confident that the film would be set at this location. Little did we know that it wouldn't be so easy, like everything else in China there is always a huge process. The next morning, we were informed by the Le Du CDC that Aaron and Adam were not allowed to film at the rural school. They didn't really give us a good reason. They insisted the local people wouldn't be happy about the filming and that it was generally a bad idea to film in a village so far away from the city. Despite what the CDC said, we knew the real reason why they didn't want us to film there; they were ashamed of the condition at the rural school. They were also not comfortable having us interview students and their families in that area due to possible negative sentiments for the Chinese government. This put a huge block in the entire filming project. We had to start all the way back at square one again. The Le Du CDC carted us around all morning going to schools that were "pre-approved" for filming. These schools were set in the city, which was the exact opposite of what Aaron and Adam wanted for the film. Finally, Aaron and I pulled one of the heads of the CDC aside and explained to him the significance of filming in the rural school we had already picked out yesterday. After a few hours of negotiations with the local and district CDC, they finally let us film at the rural school with the exception that they would be the ones picking out the students and families we would be interviewing.

For the rest of the week, Julie, Aaron, Adam and I, along with 2 CDC officials filmed at the school and its surrounding villages. We spoke with 3 students and their families. We followed them to and from school to capture their life. We were also able to interview with the school principle and the village doctor who administered the vaccinations.It was incredible experiencing first hand the daily lives of these three students and their families. We picked the perfect time to visit because it was harvesting season. The fields were filled with people cutting down the wheat, roping it up into bundles which were then pressed to release the kernels. Donkeys strapped with huge bundles of wheat filled the streets. Front yards, backyards and even flat rooftops were used to dry mountains of wheat kernels. Majority of the houses in village were made of out clay and straw. These houses were set on hillsides with narrow alleyways directing you down the hill through the maze and back onto the one main paved road.

During the filming process, Julie helped out with the sound engineering and I served as the translator and PR. Since neither Aaron nor Adam could really communicate in Chinese, I did pretty much all the talking. When there was any confusion or hesitation from the Chinese side I would try my best to explain to them Aaron and Adam's perspective and why it was important to get this shot or that shot. I conducted all the interviews, which was quite difficult because the village people had their own accents which were hard for me to discern. Before each interview I would run the question by the CDC officials to get approval before filming.

This is the first time I've ever been involved in a filming process and I found it quite interesting. Adam and Aaron are planning on coming back to the area to finish filming next month. Hopefully the second time around we won't have as many problems.

Here are some pictures from this last week: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2052870&l=4951d&id=13301826

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dee23 54, Female, United Kingdom - 170 entries

Sep 2007
11:45 AM GMT

it's my birth day today and i got two cards and one text message and thats it and the cards were not from my other half or my son although my son said he's sending an e card later .the point beeing there would be hell to pay if i did'nt bother with there birthdays

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tiahe 33, Female, Canada - 33 entries

Sep 2007
5:58 PM EST

Why do we do this, why do we even talk anymore. I dont see a point nor i probably ever will. Don't just assume that you know me anymore, because you dont you know nothing about me. I'm not a bad influence, and I'm not going to pressure anyone into doing anything they dont want to do, because I hate when people do that to me. Don't just assume I'm this bad person, and its my life. It really doesn't matter if I do it or not, I dont think I'm cool, and not everyone is like me and I'm not like everyone. Your right it was weird actually talking today, but when we were together in person it was so awkward you were the reason I cried. Just seeing you, its been almost four months then one night with your girlfriend we hang out again. I'm sorry I avoided you, I'm sorry I even said sorry, I'm sorry I hugged you, I'm sorry I asked you to make sure things weren't awkward but after that it just got worse. I'm sorry I actually cared enough for it to make my night shit, I'm sorry I want things to be fine between us again, and I dont mean being friends, I just mean that everything is fine because I still haven't let everything go when I know I should. I'm sorry that I gave/give up, I'm sorry for the past and everything in the future, I'm sorry we're still talking. You know I say sorry a lot, but also know every sorry I make I actually mean, and even if its not nessicary I still feel the need to say it. So I'm sorry once again for everything.
A lots changed for both of us, your a better person now you just not the same and to tell you the truth I'm really proud of who you are now, and I still dont think people understand you, I sure as hell don't. I never have but it doesn't mean I dont understand you either. I would be so happy and proud of everything you've done this far in your life, a couple mistakes you've made have been bad but for you the good always makes up for it. Your a good guy, sometimes I just wish you'd cut her some slack and hold her from the heart ache. I'm sure she does it too, but for her shes done nothing wrong to deserve anything bad, but you still need a little more.
I miss being close, I miss being able to talk about the awkward things without it being awkward, I miss just being about to call you. You were someone special but your not really anymore, but to anyone who asks your one of the greatest people i've ever met even though no one knows why after everything that has happened. Some people judge you before they get to know you, and most of the time thats to bad but you probably wouldn't let them in anyways. When you do let people in though, they are really really privledged people, because your a really great friend more of the time to your friends. Anyone is lucky to have you as a friend, and the friends you do have are actually also some of the most amazing people I have ever met. You pick really good ones, no wonder you never really get hurt by those people.
I hope your actually happy with your life, because I'm overly jealous I always have been since we became friends, and I've always envyed you more then any other one of my friends. You just are so strong and powerful and you know how to use your power, even though you do take people for granted sometimes it doesn't matter because everyone does at times. I think sometimes your to emotional, kinda like a girl lmfao but other then that you've got yourself together. You hold yourself high, and at least you know who you are because most people dont, i really dont know who I am or even really who I want to be.
It's been a while since I've really said anything about you, I just still can't handle it, and it sucks a lot because my best friend is dating you. I finally want to be fine, just friends not best friends or close friends but just friends. No strings attached, you really dont know how much I would appriciate that. I just miss being friends, I dont want to be like before, not one thing like before. We're still the same minus everything. This is to you, old best friend, and new friend. I hope this time we never fight even though you think its funny to fight with me. Time can only tell, and your one hell of a person to give up on 100%.
I hope this time your not such a fuck face.
:) heres to being friends.
good luck.

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